Well here it is.......the evening before our "Big Day."  The past month has been rather exciting for Allison Manning-Williams and Joddy Amerson, the duo who started on this journey to weight loss back in the Summer.  We have spoken with the insurance company, paid remaining co-payments, received well wishes from co-workers and friends, had our pre-op appointment, done our final Christmas shopping, gotten our children "squared away", and last but certainly not least...we have been on a 40 grams of carbohydrates or less per day for the last two weeks.  This low carb diet is very important because it shrinks the liver so the Surgeon can have better visualization of the organs during the procedure.  So we think of it as a safety measure.  The first two days of this diet was the most difficult and then it became easier especially at work when we held each other accountable.

 As i look back on my journey that got me to the place of needing weight loss surgery, i can point to definite times that my weight really ballooned. The majority of those times were tied to stress, which were tied to depression. I always self medicated with food, hence the 378 pounds that i saw myself hitting... 

Life seems to take you on those up and down, high stress, low stress times. I seem to have found myself in one of those times now... Only problem is i am having a real hard time dealing with it. Now, dont get me wrong it is nothing earth shattering, I am just struggling with direction, and exactly how the next chapter in life is going to start... and i dont deal well with uncertanty. Im depressed and really stressed out....The savory comfort medication that i have given myself to is no longer an issue. I feel like i had prepared myself for an array of issues that i would face. This one seems to have caught me by suprise, and im having a hard time in the fog...

Red is for Springtime – awhhhhhhh – by far my favorite season! On the way to work today, I was thinking about a favorite childhood memory.  I was about ten or eleven years old; it was springtime. I came home from school and my mother had all the windows open in the house.  There was an unforgettable aroma that I can almost smell as I write.  It was the fragrance of new life – freedom – the ability to just breathe.  Today coming to work, I realized that is how I feel, one year and six months post gastric bypass surgery - shedding one hundred and three pounds and counting. 

So I have now hit 6 months out. This morning, i weighed in at 279 pounds, which is 99 pounds from my top weight on Aug 1st. In my eyes, the changes on the tape measure are more substancial than that... here are those numbers.

 2012 has started off with a BANG! Sorry it has been so long since I last blogged.. I have been busy living this new exciting life that has emerged. I feel like a Phoenix or better yet as my boyfriend likes to refer to me… a Butterfly.

Well, its been just a little over 5 months since i took back control of my life. What a 5 months it has been! While i am yet nowhere near a healthy weight yet, it is amazing how much of a marginalized life i was living. I found that for years, i kinda trimmed the edges off of life, and missed so much! I am able to do so much more now, and cannot wait to see what happens when i have my hands wrapped around this whole health thing. I CANNOT WAIT for this spring. Opening day, i will be at Kings Dominion Theme park. I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS, and i have not been able to fit on one since 2003.

So, one of the more frustrating things that I have experienced through this process is stalls! Where one month, you are dropping 5+ pounds a week, and all of a sudden, it turns off like someone flipped a light switch.... It never fails that no matter how many times it happens, and how many times you bust through, when it happens... you feel like it is the end of the world, and you will never lose another pound.

So my first Thanksgiving was not as bad as i had built it up to be in my head. Things are never the same when you can’t overindulge as you had for the last 30 years, but different did not necessarily mean bad... just different. The day became less about stuffing myself, and more about reflection on the last year, and being truly thankful for life and an overwhelming amount of blessings. While I HATE not being able to be with family during the holidays, it was nice to spend the day with good friends. I have really been blessed with lots of those... 

I guess the first thing to do here, would be to introduce myself. My name is Ed Merkel, I am 30 and live in Roanoke Rapids, NC.  I have been married almost 4 years to Sarah.  I am originally from Carlsbad, NM. I found my way to the East coast through my job as a Youth Pastor at First Christian Church, which we have been at for 3 years now.  I am a Dallas Cowboys fanatic, and adore being outside hunting, fishing, or hiking..