As i look back on my journey that got me to the place of needing weight loss surgery, i can point to definite times that my weight really ballooned. The majority of those times were tied to stress, which were tied to depression. I always self medicated with food, hence the 378 pounds that i saw myself hitting...
Life seems to take you on those up and down, high stress, low stress times. I seem to have found myself in one of those times now... Only problem is i am having a real hard time dealing with it. Now, dont get me wrong it is nothing earth shattering, I am just struggling with direction, and exactly how the next chapter in life is going to start... and i dont deal well with uncertanty. Im depressed and really stressed out....The savory comfort medication that i have given myself to is no longer an issue. I feel like i had prepared myself for an array of issues that i would face. This one seems to have caught me by suprise, and im having a hard time in the fog...
So I have now hit 6 months out. This morning, i weighed in at 279 pounds, which is 99 pounds from my top weight on Aug 1st. In my eyes, the changes on the tape measure are more substancial than that... here are those numbers.
Well, its been just a little over 5 months since i took back control of my life. What a 5 months it has been! While i am yet nowhere near a healthy weight yet, it is amazing how much of a marginalized life i was living. I found that for years, i kinda trimmed the edges off of life, and missed so much! I am able to do so much more now, and cannot wait to see what happens when i have my hands wrapped around this whole health thing. I CANNOT WAIT for this spring. Opening day, i will be at Kings Dominion Theme park. I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS, and i have not been able to fit on one since 2003.
So, one of the more frustrating things that I have experienced through this process is stalls! Where one month, you are dropping 5+ pounds a week, and all of a sudden, it turns off like someone flipped a light switch.... It never fails that no matter how many times it happens, and how many times you bust through, when it happens... you feel like it is the end of the world, and you will never lose another pound.
So my first Thanksgiving was not as bad as i had built it up to be in my head. Things are never the same when you can’t overindulge as you had for the last 30 years, but different did not necessarily mean bad... just different. The day became less about stuffing myself, and more about reflection on the last year, and being truly thankful for life and an overwhelming amount of blessings. While I HATE not being able to be with family during the holidays, it was nice to spend the day with good friends. I have really been blessed with lots of those...
Re: Taking the Next Step to a Better Me
Congrats!! Amy work it now!!!
-- Tauheedah Hasan
Re: Oh how sweet the ride....
Way to go Amy! I love the picture of you on the bike!
Re: The Evening Before our "Big Day"
Re: Dealing with stress
I could not have said it better myself. I feel EXACTLY the same. Thought I was alone. Are these feelings...
Ed, I am new to crossfit and couldnt have said this more better myself! Congrats on your progress and...
Re: How I stay motivated when......
Thank you for your story and sharing.. I am thinking about having the surgery. I loved the turtle story...
Keep it up Ed. Your CFRM family is with you all the way.
Re: Introducing Ed Merkel
I related to you reading this. Some of this is me. You word things perfectly as always. Thank you for...
Re: Off With The Old!
Ed I'm proud of you man. That is not an easy struggle and it looks like you are doing incredibly well...
Re: The Next Stop on My Weight Loss Journey
what an inspirational journey and story! Thanks a lot. Anticipating surgery soon. Wish me well.